I have been reading a few blogs and talking to a few friends of mine and this question seems to pop up like a Carrie Bradshaw article topic - Are men, the new women?
A lot of women I know have been cribbing about how they have started looking for no-strings attached flings, one-night stands etc. and it is so tough to find a man who is into that anymore (apparently, there are enough assholes for that, but said women steer clear of them... yea, right!). Apart from the diminished libidinal energies, there are a lot more aspects to touch upon here, but for the sake of keeping the excitement levels up, we'll discuss just this one, ok?
Some instances I have heard from friends (male AND female)-
1. A guy didn't wanna do it with his gf (it wouldve been her first time) because he hadnt done it in a while and was actually worried that he may not be good enough.
2. A guy didnt wanna do it with a girl he met while she was on vacation, not because he was not attracted to her, but because he thought sex was important and not to be had with someone just for the heck of it.
3. A guy didnt wanna do it with a girl he was staying with on vacation, not because he was not attracted to her, but because he was leaving and they were good friends and it would make things weird.
4. A guy turned down a threesome offer from 2 superhot women because he was in a relationship with a girl (who had been studying overseas for the past 6 months and apparently had no way of finding out.)
In all 4 situations, the women have apparently been very persuasive, in different ways, but the men in each case were steadfast. So what is with the men of today? Are we becoming sappy, sensitive fools who are just looking gift horses in the mouth? Is this part of the new (gulp) metrosexual gene??
I read on a blog that "The one advantage of casual sex is of course the delicious unfeelingness of it. The utter unspeciality." I guess we men like the speciality. Yes, I did include myself in that breed of men by saying 'we'. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for flings and one-offs and have had a few fun ones myself. But there is nothing wrong in wanting something meaningful and being sensitive about these things.
Maybe this change is because we have sensible women friends who teach us about sensitivity towards women. Maybe we have great parents who teach us not to be shallow, (the occasional (read: rare) fling is not shallow...shush) or maybe its just who we are today, because of social and sexual evolution.
Either way, this change is here. Maybe the world will be a better place from this... Maybe.
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3 comments:
Definitely maybe! :) As a woman, I can tell you it was good to hear. I would call it evolution, as you suggested.
As to what you said about my post, I don't think its slutty behavior either. That was just a phrase that made me laugh, because it was was a contradiction in terms- an ethical slut? :D
And I believe that polyamory entails more than just intimacy. A friend of mine once said that if a woman he was with was attracted to some other guy and wanted to explore the potential there, he would definitely let her go, and come back if she wanted to. His viewpoint was that he wanted his relationship with anyone to be completely free- that they should not feel 'commited' to him but be there with no reservations whatsoever. I understand polyamory in that context- as a more exaggerated sense of freedom in the relationship.
Yeah right. I would LOVE to meet the aforementioned guys in your post and click their photos and stick in my 'aisa-bhi-hota-hai' scrapbook. Oh what crap, men have never, and will never change. Please lemme do some male-bashing here, especially because one my ex-best guy friends slept with one of my ex-good girl friends and then ditched her only because he wanted his revenge(for something.. sounds filmy I know). The topping? He had the audacity of bragging in front of another one of my friends that he ain't virgin no more and that he ain't sorry for what he did. But of course, this is what the real face of all men is. It's not only about flings, it's about flings with a purpose too.
So the guys in your post.. they all sound like some fictional characters. For all you know, they might actually be lying about the 'persuasivenes' of the females in question. The case in point- men will always be men.
*I have no idea what I just wrote, but it feels good to let it out of my system :D*
@beatnik
glad you managed to get it out of your system. but its sad that you're so cynical about men.
I guess if you have low expectations, its tougher to get let down.
let me just say that not all guys are like your ex-best guy friend. However, let me also say that I believe that the aforementioned guys were exceptions and hence have found mention on my post. If what they did was normal practice among men, i wouldn't be writing a post about them now, would i?
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