Monday, January 19, 2009

Happy New Year

Well, its been a not-so-great new year for me so far. An uncle passed away, the company I work for is in deep shit and the best friends are Rs. 10/minute phone calls away.
But hey, tally ho...chin up and all that jazz. It can't get much worse, can it? Oh man, that's just tempting fate! But wat the hell, I've been in a job I hate that pays crap, for a while now. Maybe if I lose my job it'll be a good thing. But the good thing is, I'm not wallowing in self-pity and depression. Sure things like these bum you out. The key is to have distractions. Friends are always around if I ask for them, my family is great, life is good.

Having said that, I feel the lack of something. Its not something I can put my finger on. But its one of those "feel nahi aa rahi" phases. I'd put it down to the 10 hours of dreary clerical work everyday. But I know thats not it. I have always been good at leaving the drudgery behind at office when I leave. I now find myself being intolerant of people, being a lot more sarcastic (as if i wasn't sarcy enough already) a lot more disinterested in people and things around me, enjoying time alone at home more, finding comfort in episode after episode of 'The Office' and 'How I Met Your Mother', without ever feeling the need to have a set of Barney, Marshall, Ted, Robin and Lily to fall back on. I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing. (Yea i know i'm being contradictory now... coz earlier i spoke about having friends when i need them etc etc.... but thats the state of mind I am in) But thats what I feel right now.

Of course there always are exceptions. People who don't feel the sarcasm and don't see the irritability. That could be because either they are so close or special to me that they are above this. Or they don't matter enough. Its those in between who get caught.

I don't know why I'm overthinking this. Maybe its just that everything is happening at the same time and thats what is getting to me. Or maybe I'm just getting old.

2 comments:

beatnik said...

Like the famous quote goes- 'This too shall pass'.. hang in there, you'll be fine :)

The Clerk said...

i hope it passes bloody soon! its quite depressing! Whats even more depressing is the fake "i'm ok" smiles that i have to force myself to give everyone.
I should stop bitching and get a hobby